notjustmrsdr

Archive for January, 2011|Monthly archive page

Aksel’s World

In Uncategorized on January 20, 2011 at 10:54 am

I wanted to post the cutest and quietest video of Aksel, but I don’t know how to convert a quicktime video to a format this blogsite will take.  Ah, well.

So, here we are in the second week of my working and Kirk being at home.  Let’s just say I’ve had 10 years of marriage and 5 years of child-rearing to perfect, or at least learn about, managing the household.  I need to learn how to extend a little grace.  In the last few months, I didn’t always, say, have the towels washed, etc.  Yet.  I still harbour expectations and senses of injustice that housework falls to me primarily because of my gender even whilst I am the breadwinner.  I know Kirk doesn’t see it that way – and at least he’ll watch the kids while I clean- it’s just he simply isn’t bothered by the mess or maybe doesn’t even see it the way I do.   I am, in short, having trouble with the “partnership” scenario, although our family counsellor (did I mention that part?  Another time, per chance), did say it was probably unrealistic for me to think all of my duties would fall on others’ shoulders during this magical parental leave time.

There are magical things to parental leave, though.  For instance, a friend asked if I wanted to go to a play (The Year of Magical Thinking).  I didn’t have to check Kirk’s schedule – I just said yes.  And stayed out very late.  And ate very sophisticated grown-up nibblies and conversation post-play.  

Work is work.  I’m finding, though, I don’t hate it as much as anticipated.  I am developing a crustaceous teaching shell that prevents me from being surprised or bothered by much.   It may be that the more I teach, the more I see, too.  I am also recognizing every day that teaching has allowed me to increase my own understanding of writing and grammar.

I am also trying to freelance a little more – so if anyone needs any professional editing and writing, please let me know!  There, that is my grovelling for the evening.  I am getting a designer to do a logo for me, and eventually a basic website.  Also, I’m writing some reviews and have applied for a job or two more and have completed another grant application.  Hustle.  Hustle. 

In all honesty, I kind of like being back at work.  For some reason, it makes me feel better about myself.  I get home, I’m less crusty with the kids because I’ve taken it out on students all day, I have commuting time to myself and three hours in my office alone each day I’m there.  I get to eat lunch.  I get to concentrate.   I do like using my brain.  Is it bad that I’m enjoying being at work so much with just a 7.5 mo old baby?  I probably wouldn’t feel so good about it if he was not in his dad’s care, but for now it’s not so bad. 

In other news, as our cell-phone plan just came up for renewal, I got an iphone.  It’s so ridiculous I love it.  It tracks my pace when running.  It scans in bar codes on food products.  It lets Kirk and I syncronize grocery lists and calenders.  I cuddle it to sleep at night because I’ve downloaded an app that is a guided meditation supposed to help me get to the root of why I eat compusively.  The only trouble here is the man’s nice Scottish accent puts me to sleep just as it tells me to relax my facial and scalp muscles.  I haven’t actually been conscious for the weight stuff.  Maybe it is insidious and is convincing me to get breast implants.  Who knows?  Then again, I haven’t been eating compusively (also thanks to iphone food tracking app).  I remain feeling pudgy and stuck in malgining my post-birth muffin top.  We hates it! 

I am often sleeping in our guest room/my office (hence the iphone cuddling) these days because Aksel continues to wake up every hour and a half.  Kirk brings him into bed at some point in the night (this after getting on my case about doing the same thing previously – I also notice he is less patient with 4-year-old whining than he was while working.  I stand victorious, though who’s in a competition?).   In any case, can someone please offer sleep strategies for real life, for those babies who don’t just drift off and never have despite all attempts to the contrary? 

I have signed up for a marathon clinic with the Running Room, the problem being it’s on Tuesday nights, and as I work all day Tuesday I am thinking about bowing out of the clinic (not the marathon) in the thought I’ve been away from the kids all day and will be too tired, and Kirk has banjo lessons.  However, last night I ate chocolate and watched 3 episodes of Village on a Diet, and reading an Ottawa blog called “Losing it in Ottawa,”  a combination which carries not one iota of irony at all.  I have two days to decide to drop out – what shall I do?  I can also take a web-based clinic, but I will miss meeting new people and doing those long distances with others.  The long runs are on Sunday morning – another problematic venture as we do go to church.  Please advise.

Please also encourage and suggest events for the organization of date nights now that Aksel takes a bottle.  We need to sometimes act like more than roommates who engage in acts necessary to produce children every four years.

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